O Apocalipse segundo Dr. Zeug

“I am the Genie of the Can and I grant you three wishes.”

“I want a lotta money, a lotta women and, uh… uh… I mean…uh…and a lotta…you know…a lotta wisdom. Yeah, that’s it.”

“Your wish is my command. Abracadabra!”

As we all know, the world is headed for a great “cleansing.”

Every day the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

The poor are so poor that they are just dwindling and dwindling and soon there will be none left.

And who cares about the poor anyway? The poor don’t buy anything.

The world that once seemed so enormous seems so small nowadays.
[nostalgic]

But enough of futility, I came here to tell a story.

Once upon a time there was pink porpoise named Juca. He was a mechanic.

He was a very good mechanic and made a lot of money.
“Hm… Looks like it’s the rabiola”

Everything was going well in his life, but…
“I refuse to contribute any longer to the emission of pollutants into the atmosphere.”

But he knew it wasn’t enough just to close his shop. Other people would continue to use cars, etc., etc.
“What a dilemma.”

“The world is going down the drain and nobody cares.”
“I guess this is the way everyone wants it.”

“The end of the world. Under a carpet of smoke and a mountain of plastic.”

Problem solved. Juca was able to return to repairing those polluting machines.
“And all’s well.”

But nothing is so simple. One day, one of his employees was late.
“It’s the end of the world, Mr. Juca.”
“Hum…”

I was headed this way when all of a sudden…

…it started to rain money. There was money everywhere.
“It’s mine!”

I tried to grab some for myself but the crowds were going crazy.

I tried to head home but I couldn’t. The only thing to do was to get out of downtown.

Cars, trucks, and a mad throng passed me on their way downtown.

“You see this? This out-of-control mob? I adore this.”

“Better death by fire than going calmly like a heifer to the slaughter.”
“The crowd is going to destroy itself over money.”

“The poor turn rich, the rich turn poor. But they’ll all be dead when this world ends. The birth of a new world.”

In the future, the world will be ruled by a strong hand that will break the will of the people and will thus bring peace.
If the people want food, he will deny them. If the people want riches, he will give them misery.
If the people want progress, he won’t give it.
For he will know that the voice of the people is the voice of God and that God is always against the people.

He will be the new god and the new law. His shadow will spread terror and peace over the earth. And none shall know his name.

But the new world will have a queen and goddess and her name will be Rajada.

And all will hear the voice of Rajada.
“Today I will speak of a time that will never return. A time of plenty.”

I will speak of Rosaldo, The Weatherman.
“Partly Cloudy this afternoon, with temperatures dropping.”

He was a very good weatherman and made a lot of money.
“Partly cloudy, etc.”
[nice voice]

But a dream changed his life.
“Partly cloudy, etc.”

“I’m the best. I predict the future and nobody calls me a charlatan.”
“That’s what you think.”

“Huh?”
“If you were so good, even you would know that one day you will be poor and no one will listen to anything you say.

“And you will say precisely this:”
“Mankind is nothing but a Tamagotchi in the hands of a God that doesn’t exist.”

“But one day a god will be born and at that time a new world will arise.”
“What a load of crap.”

“Heed what I tell you, punk. You are the spokesman for a new world.”
“Listen to my story.”

President Reagan needed ideas for his government.
“What to do?”

So he asked his friend Bush for help.
“You need the help of a wise man.”

“What the…Then bring me this wise man!”
“Leave it to me.”

A little while later, President Reagan received a package.

“Poor Bubu.”

“My good man, go and bring me that wise man!”
“Yes sir.”

“Tarnation!”

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“Sharon, you’re my last hope. Go and get that monster for me.”
“Yes, sir.”

“Ha! Nothing like a woman for a job well done.”

“I’m already beginning to have ideas…”

“No one can stop me now. My mind is bursting with ideas. No to drugs. Money for the rich. Long live the Dollar Store.”
[evil]
Kill’im, Rosaldo!

|money| |women|

“Hi, cutey.” “Hey.”

“Hi, sweetie”
“Hi”
“Bye” “seeya” “Ciao.”

[wisdom]